Monday, 23 January 2012

Bullying

Bullying

The idea that bullying happens in adulthood makes many uncomfortable, we have this notion that children are bullied because they are a easy target and that's what children do but when you become an adult it all stops.  Firstly it is never clever to bully anyone no matter their age.  I was bullied as child and it was quite a painful experience but you think along the lines of when I get older it will stop but what if it doesn't and it continues to make your life a misery?.

Adults are supposed to be in control of their life and have the power within to stand up and say no but sometimes we feel unable to do this and for many reasons.  It might start off unsuspecting with a boss or partner slowly wearing you down making you feel insecure, stupid and they come out with remarks that make you want to be swallowed up by the hole that will magikally appear in the ground.  It can get to the point of being unable to sleep, nightmares, feeling depressed because another person takes it upon themselves to treat you as their victim, their toy, it may continue for many months even years.

Bullying can also take place via the internet, we've all heard of cyber bullying and these bullies hide behind the computer unleashing a side of themselves that quite frankly is appalling.  To make someone feel as if they are worth nothing,  to revel in making that person cry or have them dreading going to work must make them feel in control and so proud of what they have achieved.  Adults who are bullied tend to not share their experience with anyone for fear of ridicule or being told to get a grip, we are led to believe that bullying is what happens in the playground so we keep it to ourselves.  We become grumpy, tired, sad, lose direction etc and these have a knock on effect within our family, friends, social life etc and we question what is it we have done because we automatically assume it is us that has caused this bullying when in fact we have nothing to do with the insecurities and plain nastiness of bullies.

Whether you are a child or adult you do not ever have to suffer in silence, find someone you can trust to confide in and explain what is going on and how it is making you feel.  Once you have confided in someone you will feel like a weight is gradually being lifted, a teacher, parent, boss should give you the support you need, how you can proceed to stop it should also be discussed.  There are websites which have some advice also so find the support you really need to stop what is happening.  You owe it to your happiness, your well being to be treated with love, consideration and respect and don't short change yourself either.  I know how hard it can be to acknowledge you are being bullied and to ask for help, you have to do what feels right for you but let us put a stop to bullies and make them feel secure and loved within their life after all when you know you can succeed at what you do, when you have a respect for yourself and then for others and feel positive you want to share your world with others and shower them in these productive emotions.

It took me a very long time to lay to rest the emotional hurt left by bullies, in a way I thank them for making me see that there are different types of people in this world and their type was not a model to base a personality upon or to befriend, for pushing me in a direction where I could release my creative side because the sadness, pain, humiliation was written down and set a path for my love of writing and understanding the people around me.  It helped me learn to tolerate, to have patience, to see the pain behind another persons eyes and to help them but most of all it taught me to love who I am because there was and is nothing that I did to encourage a bully, that is a problem they have to deal with in their life.

I do like to call upon Archangel Michael and Faery Queen Mab for protection very day because sometimes we come across negativity, unkind words aimed at us and a adult who is still very much a child in that playground.

To call upon Archangel Michael simply light a blue candle and place a Lapis Lazuli crystal beside the candle.  Ask him to come forth and name  the reasons.  If you don't have time for the candle and crystal all you need to do is to just call him, all very quick and easy.

Sending love and healing to all hearts and souls who need it.

Rachel x



© Rachel Curtis/The Faery Enchantress




6 comments:

AmethJera said...

As a counselor I see too much of this happening in the workplace and society in general. Our Pagan community should be a safe haven, but it is not. There are bullies among us who " just have" to tell others that our faith tradition isn't up to a level of acceptance in their self-proclaimed superior kingdom, or who has to have the last word on a subject because they are an expert, therefore negating our experience and inner compass. My reaction is that I am Pagan enough for me, and if you don't like what I'm doing, go find another tree to worship under. I don't even waste the energy on these types anymore, but I do believe the Pagan community as a whole should view these types with a discerning eye.

Just B. said...

Thank you for sharing your story. I too was bully as a child, only by 1 person but still was bullied. I know the emotional scars it can leave behind. I hope that you have healed from yours as when I look back, I like to say she was just jealous of me and that's why she bullied me. :)

The Faery Enchantress said...

Hi AmethJera, it is so sad that some people find the need to take on the role of a bully when I know that they could release these sour and bitter emotions and become full of love and have a open mind.

Rachel x

The Faery Enchantress said...

Hi Just B,

Sorry to hear that you too were bullied, it can leave such a bitter taste but we are survivors. Sending you hugs.

Rachel x

Homelight said...

Dear FE - thank you for posting on this issue. U - is for upstanding behavior. Upstanders speak out against this type of behavior like you did FE.

We need a spell for others to do the same. Meaning instead of standing watching bullying of violence happen to another we need to speak up if we can or the very least call the police.

I work in this field - the University of NH has great tips on becoming an upstanding citizen vs a bystander. http://www.unh.edu/preventioninnovations/index.cfm?ID=BCC7DE31-CE05-901F-0EC95DF7AB5B31F1

The Faery Enchantress said...

Hi Homelight,

Thank you, I do believe that more people are standing up and saying no to bullies but there are those who still suffer in silence because they are afraid of the consequences. It's getting that one person to confide in someone so they don't feel alone and by doing this hopefully it will boost their confidence in reporting that bully. Thanks for the link as well, will go and check it out. Thank you my lovely friend.

Rachel x